Hush Now. We Don't Pay You To Think.

I once read that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different outcome.
Fair play.
But what if it's not YOU who does the same thing repeatedly but others, and by constantly observing their very stupid actions you are forced into their insanity , almost by default?
Is that YOUR insanity? Or theirs?
I ask because twice a day, everyday, for the past week I have heard myself mutter " I hate people", which is ironic and sad because everyday I choose to be near and interact with them.
But truly I do.
Hate them.
Not all of them.
And not all the time.
And not YOU, obviously.
But a number of them, and often.
Now let's just get away from the big picture of immeasurable stupidity in the form of war and gunfights, and mass violence.
Let's leave behind queues of feeble-minded non thinkers standing like lemmings to pay $100 USD for a t-shirt bearing the free advertising logo of a brand name made wealthy on the backs of slave labourers.
I am not talking about Global NIMBY's * and fucktarded reality TV stars.
I mean grass roots, know them by name -and may even have their number in your phone - touchable moronbiciles (new word) that make you wish there was a delete button available for street usage.
Lately I have been feeling swamped.
Swamped by people I want to bitch-slap into consciousness, even though I know, in my heart, that this will achieve nothing.
People who have so little self awareness you wonder that they don't die of oxygen deprivation until you realise that even lichen breathes.
WHY???
Why do these people exist?
Her delusion, his egotism, their shared fantasy based on a story they both read as children.
Every month or so I break down and write 800 frustrated words of anguish, begging the Universe for understanding for my fellow Earthly travellers whose reality seems less gripped and more touched, and yet.....
I lay awake at night facing the dreadful possibility that it is ME who is swimming in a pool of hallucination and the others, with their stupid thoughts and their lack of insight and their inability to see beyond today that are, in fact, the sane ones.
And that is a scary thought indeed.
But then the morning comes.
And clarity returns.
And I sometimes find humour in their chimera.
So, she thinks Princess is an honorary title ?
So he believes his own spin ?
So they never read to the end of the book?
What does it matter?
"Stupid is as stupid does", as Sally Field once said.
And she should know.
She was a flying nun.
And should the long run be run, and it turns out that the blithering amongst us were right, and that I AM the crazy one - with my constant questioning and my long term considering and my extroverted introspection- then fuck it.
At least we all had a laugh, or at least I did.
For hidden behind the veil of frustrated tears is a woman whose eyes roll in their sockets as often as they face the heavens.
You would think, at the age of 43 I would have worked out what the hell was going on, but I haven't.
I know that I know less now than I knew I knew at half my age.
Now THERE'S a definition of insanity for you.
Doing what you think is right with the hope that something will eventually become clearer to you whilst being surrounded by people who are doing what they hope is true without any desire for clarity.
A Search for The Truth, with the blind leading the dumb.

* N.ot I.n M.y B.ack Y.ard- the concept that we SHOULD have Drug Rehab Centres and Power Stations and refugee camps, and low cost housing. Just not here.