Pulsating Party Pussy.

'Meow- Meow' is a stupid name for a Drug.
There, I said it, because someone had to wear the big girl pants and say it.
For about 6 months I have read in the press about the new party drug that is killing it's fair share of weekend warrior drug users in the UK and around the world.
It's a cocktail of chemicals derived from plant fertilizers, and as such, authorities in the UK have had a tough time getting it banned.
In Australia, it is illegal.
The chemical combination in question creates a white powder called Mephedrone, which sells at a quarter of the price of Ecstasy, and apparently has some of the buzz of Cocaine, but only for a short time.
It is being manufactured in China- everything is made in China anyway, so why not- and it is yet another way to get wasted for less than the price of a couple of drinks at a bar.
I have never seen it, I have no interest in seeing it.
The death rate attached to this particular drug seems disproportionately high, but that will not stop a lot of Teflon coated clubbers from seeking it out.
When I was young I watched a neighbor inhaling the smoke from a Joss Stick as he moaned to anyone listening " Oh my God man, this is WICKED, I am SOOOOOO stoned".
He wasn't.
I've tried it.
My issue here today is not, in fact, about the illicit and seedy drug trade.
My issue is merely with the name.
Because WHO is Christs heaven came up with a street name that sounds like the copy on the packaging of a four pack of Hello Kitty Underwear?
Where is the branding dipshit who insisted that when this stuff went to market, the easiest way to identify it's purity was to give it the cartoony name of a Japanese Porn Star?
It sounds like a made up name for a vagina.
What self respecting gay party animal is going to be sitting outside a rave club screaming "I NEED TO BUY SOME MEOW MEOW NOW !!!GIVE ME PUSSY !!!!I WANT PUSSY!!!!" down the telephone.
And for that matter, and I think this may be my point, what self respecting dealer is going to turn to his trusted regular customers and announce " You know, I've got some meow-meow if you're interested?"
For fucks sake.
Most drug dealers, although loving family men and women all I'm sure, are not the type of people into cutesy double barreled fru-fru names for their street trade.
Most drug dealers are hard sons-of-bitches who will happily stand beside you at an ATM whilst you, loaded out of your head, drain your bank account of all available funds, then beat the crap out of you if you look at them sideways.
They don't mean to be evil c**ts, it's just that they are drug dealers.
But back to the Worlds Worst Brand Name.
Was there no thought put into this AT ALL?
Heroin has 'smack', Cocaine has 'Charlie', MDMA has 'Ecstasy', Dope has .....'dope', or 'green'.....Hash has 'brown'...( OK, a few of these are equally lame, but try to remember WHO is doing the naming)....other things have other names like 'Speed' and 'Acid' and and 'Bennys' and 'Schrooms' and Mephedrone got 'Meow-Meow'.
How embarrassment.
It's like one of those attempted posh names that trailer trash Americans call their kids.
" Hey Chantellamain, go out and tell Ezeckiphillabob to get his ass in here and skin that Opossum for supper like he said he would"........." Oh, and tell him to ask Antoinettalee-Sue if she's got any of that Meow-Meow on her, Papa's comin' out of the big house tomorrow and weeze goin' to have ourselves a big ol' party".
If the man has been behind bars for longer than a year, then he has probably never heard of this product, and if he has, there is no way he is going to announce to his cell mates " First thing I'ma gonna do when I break outa this joint is head on over to Doraleens place and get me some Meow Meow".
Because if he did say that, the guys in the joint would naturally assume that he was heading over to Doraleens place for some pussy.
Which is fine.
That being said, given that 9 out of 10 times a man filled with chemicals is as useful to a woman as a plate full of steaks at a Vegan picnic, the chances of him getting pussy whilst full of Meow-Meow are.......well.....not very great.......
But it's too late now.
The cat is out of the bag- so to speak.
Lewis Carroll would be turning in his grave.
But unlike his cat, this Feline is not about to disappear, and the world dumbest drug name ( for now) is here to stay.