I'm OK, You're......OK.....sort of....If I squint.........

Single white female.
Not looking for Single male with sense of humour, love of out doors and long walks on the beach, who enjoys cooking and a movie on the couch, or a great adventure or pumping iron at the gym.
Drink occasionally, never drink or drink until you pass out every night and smoke, or don't smoke, 'cause frankly I don't give a toss, just make sure you don't involve me.
Have as many of your own children as your testes will allow, or hold the buggers back- just do it in your own time, and without my knowledge.
And what ever kind of partner you are looking for, be it your Juliet, Marilyn, Madonna or Mama Cass just take care that on your search for your soul mate, my front door doesn't hit you on the arse on your way out.
I like men. I do. A lot of my friends are men. Or are women who know men.
Men are different to women because a) they have Penises and b) they can reach things on top shelves without standing on chairs.
(OK, to be fair, that's not a real male/female difference, but I am 5 foot 2 and when I think of men, I think of them as being taller than me, which they usually are).
The thing I like about men-most men- is that they think in a male way.
For example, men think about doing things. Give a man a box with a model airplane in it, and he will set about sticking the bits together. He will want to make it 'cause nature and evolution have taught men that when you need something the best way is to start with an action.
When we lived in caves, and Mrs Caveman was bitching 'cause supplies of Wooly Mammoth Meat were getting low, Mr Caveman and his mates went out and got some more.
Most men- there are of course always exceptions- are still like that.
Do, get, kill, catch,work,make,hunt. Doing words. Verbs. Men words are verbs that involve the hands.
And a man who is good with his hands is good value indeed.
So yes, if I wanted to be in a relationship right now, my preference would be to be in a relationship with a boy.
However the problem appears to be, and with all due respect to my ex-husband, and the handful of other men I have been involved with over the years, that most of the men that fall into the catchment area of my desired demographic are well....... 'pants'........as the British would say.
So many fish in the sea. So many of them with small bones and toxic levels of mercury.
Statistics I have partially invented would suggest that out of 100 males within the age range of 39-50 living in HK, 8 percent will prefer the company of other men over me.
So that leaves 92.
Dividing the remaining badly dressed hetero guys into the married and the unmarrieds-half/half-leaves 46 fellas.
The remaining 46 men are single, and technically available.
Lets look at them shall we ?
Why would a man aged between 39-50 be single?
I have developed my own theories about most things, and my theory to answer that question goes like this....
Half of the men remaining- 23- are still single because they are simply un-partnerable ie: they are damaged goods.
Men who have never been in a long term relationship by the time they are 40 are not (and this may shock a few of you) cool.
They are tragic.
Whether it's extreme selfishness, extreme wankerishness or extreme body hair, the reason why a man can not commit to more than a 3 month fling is less important than the fact that these same men are so proud of being without love.
"Look how amazing I am" they say "I don't need anybody".
Wow. Aren't you evolved? How enriching for you. Your 'lone-wolf-ness' must be so rewarding for you. How cool you will be when, aged 74, you sit alone in front of your TV being all " Thank God I have never had to go to the effort of loving someone other than myself".
Yup, you're a hero.
In chocolate factories around the world, the candies that come out flawed get a second coat of chocolate and are often sold off cheaply in the factory shop as 'damaged double dippers'.
Cheap, flawed chocolate factory seconds sell like hot cakes. No one buys damaged double dipping men.
The final 23 men left out of our potential 100.....a mere 23% of men.........are divorced or pre-partnered, like me.
Half of them were dumped by a woman, and I am not stupid enough to repeat the mistakes of the female brains trust.
That leaves 11.5 men, which we shall round down- because men are always adding false half inches to themselves, either in height, length or girth.
11 % of all men are available to a woman with my level of expectation.
Of them, 50 percent hate : their ex-wives/their jobs/their families/their kids/their colleagues/their mates/themselves.
I do not dig haters, so that leaves 5.( Rounded down)
Of those 5, one will be flatulent (pass), two will be shockingly bad in bed ( MAJOR PASS !!!) and one will not be tall enough to reach the top shelf (pass, and I know that's superficial but I have been very reasonable up until this point)...so that leaves......
1.
1% of all men aged 39-50 who live near where I live are datable.
Not marry-able, or even shack-up-with-able, just datable, and I ask you, what sort of stats are those?
I have more chance of being struck by lightening whilst being tongue kissed by a Great White Shark in a 4WD with broken brakes on a level crossing than I do of finding Mr Right within a 100 KM radius of where I live.
I am not despondent though, oh no, do not weep for me.
I am happily single, white and female.
In 10 years time, when the field has thinned a little, and the chances of me finding a man with his shit finally together are greater, I may just dip my toe back into the water.
In the mean time, I shall continue to enjoy the company of my many male friends, and continue to admire the way the get on and do things.
But I shall not look to them to fulfil my need for happiness. I am good enough with my own hands to do that. ;)