If I Had a Hammer, I Would Hit You With It.

Studiers of human psychology are right into acronyms.
I'm sure there is a reason for that.
Not enough love as a child resulting in a lifetime spent trying to break words down into their most simple form as a means of controlling anger.
Plus knowing the lingo of something makes you feel like your one of the gang.
I study people.
Not actually as a profession, just 'cause I'm nosy
The BIG FIVE in human behavior are openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism, which are quite often broken down to the acronyms OCEAN, NEOAC, or CANOE.
These then get broken down again, and again, and again and then we have the Myers Briggs psycho-profiling tools, which I DO use for work, and I find to be eerily accurate.
But today I am going to have a rant about EQ.
EQ is when you use your brain and gut to identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups.
The reason we generally call it EQ and not EI, is because we compare it to IQ.
IQ is how clever you are.
EQ is how intelligent you are.
At least, that's my definition.
And immediately you can see where the acronyms have some unresolved parenting issues.
Because let me tell you, I know some very clever people who are so fucking dumb I wonder how they function.
Take a man I shall call 'Fanny Boy'.
Fanny boy works for a white collar industry. He has a -somewhat creaking- marriage, and spawn.
He can hold a conversation using modern buzzwords and owns all the relevant flashing conveniences replete with up to the minute applications designed to make us feel plugged in.
Like a lot of men, he is thrusting and confident and secretly terrified of his own life.
I can forgive all that.
The world is a genuinely scary place for most people.
But whereas I am often introduced to people who have strength's in either IQ, or EQ, or sometimes equal measures of both, this man has neither.
It is rare.
Even amongst men.
Quite how someone with so little Heart, Mind or Instinct has managed to make it into breeding adulthood, I do not fully comprehend, but he has.
He is not ugly.
I think that helps.
I will truthfully say that there are countless millions of woman also blessed with the same lack of brain power (IQ) who breed, but most of these people have at least the good sense (EQ) to attach themselves to an intelligent or wealthy male and therefor the gene pool gets some kind of compensation for being such a lazy bitch and allowing these women to survive early childhood.
Darwinism, it would appear, has a soft spot for pretty people.
Fanny Boy is irritating because he is married to a woman, and that means- given what an absolute moron he is- that she is either obtusely ignoring the obvious, or deliberately going against nature.
No good can come of this.
I recently had the excellent misfortune of working with this man.
I thought about ways to harm him.
Not emotionally...there simply would be no point because all he hears is white noise where we hear our consciences....but physically.
Not a lot, just a bit.
I wanted to slap him.
More than once.
I have never slapped another human in my life.
Except for Kip, and that was on the bum when he was being VERY VERY naughty and he was 8.
And he was capable of learning.
Unlike numb nuts.
Fanny Boy walks through life smashing into the mind spaces of other humans with the blithe disregard of the truly truly blind.
He is so unaware of his lack of awareness that a mallet bearing the words ' SHUT THE FUCK UP AND SIT DOWN' could be brought down on his head time and time again and he would wonder where the blood was coming from.
Did you see how much violence was in that last sentence?
That's how angry he makes me.
Because his cretinous behaviour comes coated in a fat layer of arrogance.
The arrogance ensures that no ray of emotional intelligence will ever shine down on the empty fields of nothingness that are his Cognitive Personality Dimensions, his CPD.
Where you or I would see the faces, feelings and minds of other people, he sees only mirror images of his own wants.
Now I must say whilst he has irritated the living Christ out of me personally ( obviously) I have not actually been hurt by this dullard.
He simply doesn't have the strength of personality.
It's his impact on others that I find so bewilderingly painful to watch.
I want to shake him and say " LOOK AT WHAT YOU ARE DOING !!! WAKE UP !!!"
But there would be no point.
By your mid 40's if you have not learned the skills of observing and thinking, you never will.
He huffs and puffs his way through life telling all, and convincing no one, of his relevance.
Empty vessels do, in fact, make the loudest noise.
I feel a bit sorry for him.
Personally, he is not well liked....but he does not know this information and even if he did, he would not know why......
Occasionally he will be picked up by an equally crude human and used as a battering ram for the purposes of evil and not good.
He will see this as success.
His puppet master will see this as a means to an end.
I see it as a tragic re-enforcement of his lack of understanding of human interaction.
The clinical term for that is:
D.O.N.T.L.O.O.K.N.O.W D.U.M.B.F.U.C.K.B.U.T.Y.O.U.R.S.T.U.P.D.I.T.Y.I.S.S.H.O.W.I.N.G.
Even watching his slow-motion-car-wreck-life fall apart from the side is not as delightfully amusing as it is stomach churning.
Delusion is only fun if we are all taking the same pills.
Sigh.
Poor old free from instinct, empty hearted, empty headed Fanny Boy.
The pipes ARE calling.................but no one is home.