Look...it's not you.....it's me........

I promise this will not become a place for me to vent my frustration at the idiocy of the fine people of planet Earth....rinse......lather.....repeat.....
It goes like this...

"Hi so-in-so, it's Wendy"

"Oh Hi Wendy, how are you?"

"Great, look, I'm just checking up on the status of the invoice I submitted to your behemoth fucking company 6 weeks ago" - OK, not like that but in my head it was like that-

"Oh, yeah, I sent it over to accounts yesterday 'cause I don't give a flying fuck about you or your small business, or the people who rely on you to pay them on time. Shit, if I cared about that sort of thing I would have gone into business for myself instead of sitting in gods waiting room of said behemoth business for the next 5 years until I marry a rich banker and start pumping out alimony cheques every second year" - once again- not an ACTUAL transcript-

" Oh, well, I was hoping that seeing as I submitted it early, because I know what a dumb bitch you are, you might have moved a little bit faster on it this time, instead of sitting on your arse all day which, might I just say will not aid you in securing your balding boring as batshit banker babymaker unless he likes thunderthighs with his stupid"- By now I think you know-

"Oh yeah, well, it's been so crazy busy here, so just get off my fucking back about it OK 'cause if I gave a toss I would let you know.It will go through next week now,will that be soon enough you whinging ant?"

"That will be great, you lying, lazy piece of shit "

"Great, speak soon. Bye whore"

"Bye, bitch"

I PROMISE this will not become.........